I molested 6 butterflies tonight
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
