she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
