i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
