I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
