i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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