BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Randomize
