the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
