the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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