Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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