if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
