New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
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