are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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