I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
