Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
