I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
