Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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