What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I checked into jail on foursquare
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
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