I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
