The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
did i just pee glitter
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize