On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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