like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
There r osticjed everywhere
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
