she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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