he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
