i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
