He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
