I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Randomize
