I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize