Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Randomize