So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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