so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize