This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
