Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Randomize
