We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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