he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
