Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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