She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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