How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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