The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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