I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
