I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize