does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
