Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
The feeling are messing with the penis
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
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