She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
im six kinds of drunk right now
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
