I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
