dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
