ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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