So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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