All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize