we have officially lost it.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
