I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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