question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
