Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Randomize
