You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
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