i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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