So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Just invented taco cereal.
Let's paint friendship bongs
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
