Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
