I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
not ubering you a puppy
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
