Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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