My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
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