sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
