Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Randomize
