You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
