1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
