If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
