I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Randomize
