yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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