I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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