I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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