im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Randomize
